"Am I, the daughter he birthed, also his death mother?" This is the most beautiful cycle of life sentence I've ever read. This is a powerful and touching read, Swarnali, a compassionate and beautiful read and I feel mine and your humanity through it. Your description of the complex relationship with smoking is masterful and brilliant. I want to say something to lighten your grief but I have nothing. I can only say thank you for writing this piece. Thank you :)
Thank you Jonathan. Father-daughter relationship is such don't you think? It evokes the lineage and inversely imitate each other in a very balanced way because of the masculine-feminine synergy. You have touched my heart with your compassion and kindness dearest, that is consolation enough. My gratitude and love to you and yours.
"Am I, the daughter he birthed, also his death mother? Did I deliver him into the realm of eternal rest? Can I ever be that significant? I, who cannot properly mother even myself, wobbling through this space-time."
and
"Our teachers are relentless shadows haunting our memories and wringing our hearts till we burst into compassion, till we set ourselves free."
Reading these two lines has me thinking that perhaps it's through parenting others - even our own parents - that we learn to parent ourselves; that it's through having compassion for others that we learn to have compassion for ourselves; that it's through letting others free that we learn to let ourselves free.
Very beautiful insight John. I believe you. I believe it is true in nurturing others we learn how to nurture ourselves. I love the idea of life being a circle and how what we do, say, and build always leave an impact - most of it in ourselves.
Oh I feel you so deeply! Grief is so lonely. It’s been 3 months since I lost my mother, my best friend and I have so many regrets, one is not being there in her moment, like you, to hold them in their last moments. I cry every day. The grief comes in waves is the only way I can describe it. A lot harder than I ever imagined it would be to loose a parent. I know there’s nothing really that I can say to you or offer, other than you are not alone in your grief.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss Katriena. You know the last moments are still not enough, it is the lifetime of memories you made with them that really counts. I know, very intimately, the spiralling grief of losing a parent my dear, but trust me when I tell you that they still live — in the love that they left in us, in the way they shaped us, built us. They are never gone. I found the work of my beloved teacher Thich nhat hanh very helpful in the depth of my grief. Have you ever read his work? The book No Death, No Fear pulled me back into this world and obviously pouring myself into making art also saved me. Lots and lots of love to you in this difficult yet sacred and transformational times. May light find you sweet Katriena.
My dearest Nia, long hug to you. (I am amazed that the desktop app still doesn't have emojis)
Also, these are the kinds of controversial, contrived, seemingly unprogressive, too flawed and human lines that gpt creators encourage people not to write. We shall write them to claim our humanity. I have been reading too much Dostoevsky lately, and it shows. Haha.
I will look for you in the ark.
Thank you for another extraordinary piece of writing, Swarnali... it feels like a transmission.
Thank you Maia. I shall look for you too. Much love to you and Lucy.
"Am I, the daughter he birthed, also his death mother?" This is the most beautiful cycle of life sentence I've ever read. This is a powerful and touching read, Swarnali, a compassionate and beautiful read and I feel mine and your humanity through it. Your description of the complex relationship with smoking is masterful and brilliant. I want to say something to lighten your grief but I have nothing. I can only say thank you for writing this piece. Thank you :)
Thank you Jonathan. Father-daughter relationship is such don't you think? It evokes the lineage and inversely imitate each other in a very balanced way because of the masculine-feminine synergy. You have touched my heart with your compassion and kindness dearest, that is consolation enough. My gratitude and love to you and yours.
"Am I, the daughter he birthed, also his death mother? Did I deliver him into the realm of eternal rest? Can I ever be that significant? I, who cannot properly mother even myself, wobbling through this space-time."
and
"Our teachers are relentless shadows haunting our memories and wringing our hearts till we burst into compassion, till we set ourselves free."
Reading these two lines has me thinking that perhaps it's through parenting others - even our own parents - that we learn to parent ourselves; that it's through having compassion for others that we learn to have compassion for ourselves; that it's through letting others free that we learn to let ourselves free.
I'll be looking for you 🕯
Very beautiful insight John. I believe you. I believe it is true in nurturing others we learn how to nurture ourselves. I love the idea of life being a circle and how what we do, say, and build always leave an impact - most of it in ourselves.
I shall look for you as well 💜
Oh I feel you so deeply! Grief is so lonely. It’s been 3 months since I lost my mother, my best friend and I have so many regrets, one is not being there in her moment, like you, to hold them in their last moments. I cry every day. The grief comes in waves is the only way I can describe it. A lot harder than I ever imagined it would be to loose a parent. I know there’s nothing really that I can say to you or offer, other than you are not alone in your grief.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss Katriena. You know the last moments are still not enough, it is the lifetime of memories you made with them that really counts. I know, very intimately, the spiralling grief of losing a parent my dear, but trust me when I tell you that they still live — in the love that they left in us, in the way they shaped us, built us. They are never gone. I found the work of my beloved teacher Thich nhat hanh very helpful in the depth of my grief. Have you ever read his work? The book No Death, No Fear pulled me back into this world and obviously pouring myself into making art also saved me. Lots and lots of love to you in this difficult yet sacred and transformational times. May light find you sweet Katriena.
DAMN, Swarna. In tears over here. This is another incredible read.
Also: "There is more art to smoking than to using GPT to generate art." 🤯🔥🫶🏻
My dearest Nia, long hug to you. (I am amazed that the desktop app still doesn't have emojis)
Also, these are the kinds of controversial, contrived, seemingly unprogressive, too flawed and human lines that gpt creators encourage people not to write. We shall write them to claim our humanity. I have been reading too much Dostoevsky lately, and it shows. Haha.
Dear Swarna, we both know there's never too much Dostoevsky 😂
😂